26 December 2012

10 Tips For Planning A Wedding

This year I have had the privilege to be involved with so many weddings, I am even shocked at how many it has been (6 Weddings this year), but I am so thankful for the beautiful marriages I have been able to witness.

Below are some photos from the wedding I styled on Saturday, I didn't have my camera with me for the whole day so please excuse the quality of some of the photos. 

As a result of being Chief Bridesmaid (once this year) and Maid of honour (twice this year) I have learnt SO much about marriage and wedding day preparations! The preparations required for the lifestyle and also the planning for the wedding day- which is the first day of your marriage in a sense.

The clutch and heels I wore for the wedding. #MOH
Clutch had the brides things and a few of my items too. 
I have kinky twists again. I made them curly to have more bounce.
Protective yet also very easy to style for the wedding. 

The learning has not stopped but what I have learnt so far, I wanted to share with you lovely readers, as it may help someone out there, so hope you enjoy it. Comment and share also. Here are 10 tips I have put together for planning towards the Wedding day.... this is in no particular order, but just the order they came to me...
1) Keep the main thing, the main thing; Be COVENANT focused!

PLEASE remember that the day is about the vows you're going to exchange to your love. Everything else you plan should compliment that main focus. The dress, cake, venue etc play a big part in the overall look, however the most important thing to keep at the forefront is the covenant you are looking to start. 

So many people spend hours and hours looking at colour schemes, invitations and wedding dresses and next to no time actually going through the vows, studying what it is they are about to commit to. Doing the research for things for the day is not a bad thing, but it should not mean no studying goes into the marriage preparations. 

Get to know those vows; study them word for word. Make sure you are COMPLETELY confident about what you will be saying 'I do' to, because once you say it, there is NO going back :D...Praise God!
The wedding day is about pronouncing those vows and the marriage is about living out those vows forever more. 
Me with MR and MRS E. !!!! <3 Praise God!
Serving Mr and Mrs E. was an absolute PLEASURE! I would do it again, if I had to.
 It was so much fun! Thank you. 

2) Come as YOU are

The wedding day doesn't have to be stressful or complicated, it just needs to be you, and have God heavily involved in it! Coming from an African background I have witnessed many weddings that have cost more than the couples could afford, to the point that loans are taken out...all to keep up appearances, and to who?! People that will not even be there the day after the wedding day?!
That is not wise. 

As long as God is the centre of everything (music included) you shall have the atmosphere right and whoever does not agree with your plans, that's between them and God. Your aim is not to please your guests, but to exchange your vows and bring pleasure to God for your union, so come as you are.
Your husband or wife to be is going to be there for you and no one else, so faking it to the people coming, doesn't help anyone and doesn't benefit your relationship. 

Ladies...when it comes to your make up, hair and nails, less is more.  
This is an important day and you want to look great in the photos and all, however you do not want to over do it, as that takes away from the understated elegance, one can bring on the day. 

Let your husband to be, see the you he has grown in love with. Do not come on the wedding day looking like a completely different woman; let your husband to be, recognise his wife. 
Love you and come as you are. That's who he is choosing to marry, so let him see you. (",) 

Enter marriage in style; Start as you mean to go on...with a gentle and meek spirit, loving heart and modest (yet stylish) presentation.

Make up and kinky twists by AJ. Woop! 
I am so not used to wearing make up like this, but it looked nice.

3) Keep the devotion consistent & remain prayerful. Sounds obvious but not everyone does it.

If there is ONE thing you want to keep consist in your relationship, it's the time you spend in God's presence. Stay in the word, read together, study, do whatever you need to, but don't get disconnected to the Source that will bring more life into your lives. Ask God for favour on the weather, let Him fill your heart with the the right desires and trust Him on every decision. 

Proverbs 3:5-8 makes it clear that we should acknowledge God in everything! That also includes choice of who makes the cake, who to invite, seating plan, who should be in your team... the lot. Be sure to ask ask ask God. Ask Him to confirm if the decisions you are making are in His perfect plan for you and trust His leading. When you do make decisions be sure to commit them to the Lord, as He directs the individual steps and makes every plan sure.

Proverbs tells us don't be wise in your own eyes, this applies when planning towards your marriage.

AJ Styled by Nash Amber.

The make up artist for the bridesmaids and the gifted hands behind my kinky twists.
She worked on me and  I worked on her. THANK YOU!! Was great working with you.

(My brother at the back, poking his head. Thank you Sir.)
Me and the beautiful bride, my sister and friend, Mrs E! 
MOH and one of the best men; my very own brother!
Always a pleasure serving alongside him.
 
Black tube top was worn with the dress; modest dressing is always the one. 

4) Be grateful & thankful for your supporters.

Not everyone you expect to support your ideas and even your marriage may do so, therefore appreciate, be thankful and grateful to God for those that believe in His plans for your lives.

No matter who is coming against you and making things difficult and challenging, God's purpose for you both will stand. He loves you and will see it through, if this relationship is His plan for you. 

God will send people your way to assist you and support you. Allow the people He sends, to help you and support you. You are not alone and so don't believe the lies that no one wants to help you. Be specific in your prayers about the type of help you need, so that when it does turn up you can identify it for yourself.

Don't resist help, because that's pride.

Bridesmaids styled by Nash Amber
6 Bridesmaids, 1 Chief Bridesmaid and 1 Maid of Honour <3
Styled by Nash Amber 
5) Speak to other married couples & trusted counselors. They can/will teach you so much! 

Please be open to learn from other couples that have been where you are and are further along the way. Now you may not have any people around you that you believe can help you to have this godly courtship & marriage, but there are people that have written books...such as Cornelius & Heather Lindsey, Joshua Harris, Myles Munroe and others, that have great material you can both study, as you plan and transition into marriage. 

A wise man learns from his mistake, but an even wiser man learns from the mistakes of others.
 Be wise. Ask questions. Seek for Godly counsel.

6) Keep it clean, keep it holy. Don't let the perversion of this world, get in your relationship. 

Your relationship is God's plan for you and so it is a precious responsibility He has entrusted you with. Do not abuse His trust. Do not cast your pearls among swine. Keep it holy. Keep the boundaries where they need to be and honour Christ all the way through.

Until that WEDDING ring, not engagement, but WEDDING ring is on your fingers, keep respecting each others personal space and do not put any confidence in your flesh. Be safe and be wise.

Remember that, what God has given to be shared between a husband and wife is worship! It's a deep level of ministry and a great gift to be enjoyed in the right time. Even up to the very last day...keep the boundaries where they need to be. It protects you and your relationship and keeps out any ungodly soul ties that can be formed in acts of disobedience.

Thumbs up for JESUS!!! I LOOOOVEEEEE THIS Lady!
7) Enjoy it! 

You only get married once, therefore don't let the time go by with stress. Enjoy it, laugh, build good memories. If things don't go to plan, pray, reflect, see where you've gone wrong and ask for more grace in that area. Grace is His empowerment, to do what is right; to do the will of God.
So ask for grace and He shall bestow it unto you.

8) Lady, it is not YOUR day!

Your spouse may do something not so great or make a decision without consulting you and you can feel like 'you're ruining my day!' *cry, cry, cry, sob, sob,sob*....  

Lady, it is NOT your day...same way it is not your marriage alone...the marriage and the wedding day belongs to both of you! The world and other people have so much focus on the bride; making sure you are happy and satisfied etc. However the men also have desires about this day, so it is YOUR responsibility Madam, to make sure it does not turn into 'my day' but stays 'our day'. 

Correct those that bring the wrong vibes to your day & marriage too. Be sure to keep your husband to be, included and involved where ever possible. Not all men may want to be so heavily involved in the little bits and bobs, but most will really appreciate you including them.

Treat him as you would want to be treated. #Love


9) Have a Wedding day running order

On the day itself you will not be able to run around to ensure the things you have planned take place, so before the wedding delegate tasks to trusted people and write down your plans. Make it plain and simple, so that someone else can see your vision and run with it. 

Others that will want to help you, will really appreciate it, so that they can run with the tasks you ask them to do and not have to bother you with questions that may appear silly to you on the day, such as where are the order of services, where does your Auntie sit, how are the photographers getting to the park etc.

Make sure you give your plans over to whoever is coordinating the day for you, well in ADVANCE to give them a chance to actually get their head around your vision. 
MR E and his wife closely behind him. #Family

10) Forgiveness is keyyyy!

I cannot emphasise on this much more! Learn to forgive and keep forgiving. Your spouse may do things that really jar you, things like forget the colour scheme, your Aunts name, or just get things really wrong...learn to forgive, be patient and move on. Do not allow any footholds to be created in your anger. 

This also goes for family members; Dad, Mum, and all the rest. Sometimes they don't realise what they are doing and other times some members of your family deliberately do and say things that just does not help. No matter what people say about you, aim to live peaceably with all. Address whatever the Lord leads you to, and ask for discernment, to know what is really going on in situations, so that you can handle it accordingly. 

Do not allow anyone to ruin your (you and your husband's) wedding day or meddle into your marriage. Not your hair dresser, bridesmaids, flower girls, Pastor, driver etc. NO ONE! Forgive! Forgive! Forgive! Release them all back to God and enjoy your beautiful day! 

Some of my people...they went in on the dance floor. 
______________
So there we have it, the 10 tips for planning a wedding day to aid you in your marriage preparations.

1) Keep the main thing the main thing; Be COVENANT focused!
2) Come as YOU are. 
3) Keep the devotion consistent & remain prayerful. Sounds obvious but not everyone does it.
4) Be grateful & thankful for your supporters.
5) Speak to other married couples & trusted counsellors. They can/will teach you soo much! 
6) Keep it clean, keep it holy. Don't let the perversion of this world, get in your relationship. 
7) Enjoy it! 
8) Lady, it is not YOUR day!
9) Have a Wedding day running order
10) Forgiveness is keyyyy!

Please share with anyone you believe will benefit from these tips. 

My Wedding projects that have been keeping me busy.
One newly wed and another bride to be, both in the same roof.

One wedding styling is completed, as she is now MARRIED...
now I have my next STYLING project to do. 
2013 <3 I am EXCITED! 
6 Bridesmaids styled by Nash Amber. [2012]

I shall do a post for being Maid of honour/ Chief bridesmaid and bridesmaid very soon...

Hope you have a GREAT wedding day and an AWESOME marriage. 
Grace and peace be multiplied to you and your household!

Thanks for reading.

N A S H A M B E R