20 September 2014

Discretion in Dressing

Midi skirts are something I always seek to invest in, because they always work so well for different looks and occasions. The midi length falls just below the knee and so it gives me the right coverage, no matter what I am doing...be it dancing, praying with someone & bending down, sitting down, driving (& carrying passengers/brothers besides me) or anything really. I am totally covered and it is so stylish too. I don't like to show my thighs because I have learnt that it should be kept exclusive. 

There are certain areas on a woman's body that are sensitive and private, and that is definitetly one of those areas, even though I know that different cultures believe different things. Some people are brought up in places that do not see a problem with thighs being on show. I know first hand because I grew up around friends who didn't think it was anything to have cleavage on show, bum on show, thighs out, belly out etc and I almost believed this too, but I thank God He stepped in and has revealed His heart to me, which is different to that. 

Does that mean I now judge those that do not cover their thighs? No! Does it mean I think I am better than them? No. Does it mean, I go around telling everyone to do this, or do that to their outfits when it's clearly not modest? No. That isn't how God deals with me so I do not treat His precious daughters like that. God has a way of reaching our hearts. I simply share these posts, as He leads me and also to share with you all, the work behind the scenes that He has done and is doing, because pictures and videos do not tell it all. Modesty is a beautiful inward AND outward work, I pray God reveals this to your hearts. 

Regardless of what we grew up knowing and believing when we come to Jesus, we have to be open and ready for Him to renew our minds on everything, or we will not grow. In this Kingdom, whatever He says and shows goes. Period. We (as humans) can fuss, kick and debate but He has the final say. He changes us, but this is not by might or power, but by His Spirit, in His perfect time. YOU are in safe hands... God will minister truth to you on any area He wants you to change in, I pray we respond with a willing heart, & that we do not become defensive. 

As God has blessed us women with beautiful temples/bodies, no matter our size, complexion, scars or no scars, we are made just right, as He has made us. Yet, just because we have something does not mean we have to flaunt it or let EVERYONE know we have it. 

Have you ever heard that foolish advice 'if you got it flaunt it '? It sounds like it is promoting 'confidence' but really is it foolish because it goes against truth. The bible teaches us about not making fleshly decisions, about humility and not elevating ourselves. So that advice really needs to come out of minds and hearts, as it is dangerous!

{Discretion is such a precious thing} 

'A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pig's snout.' - Proverbs 11:22
  • 'A Jewel of gold is of value and finding it on a pigs snout does not do it justice. This ring represents us women, the way that we may speak and behave or even dress can devalue us. So lacking discretion is a way of devaluing yourself because you're not living in the standard that you were created to live or you're not in you. Be in your element - holding beauty, shining bright and bringing glory to the One who designed you. Stay blessed!' - Mayasoul_xo
'A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.' - Proverbs 12:4 (KJV -- I study in this version to define words and all)

A worthy wife is a crown for her husband, but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones.- Proverbs 12:4 (NLT)

In this verse, a virtuous woman - a woman of great strength in character, is described as the ACTUAL crown upon her husband's head. A crown is BEAUTIFUL & everyone wants to look at it...it is given to royalty and let's be honest, it makes the individual who is wearing it, look GOOD & it can show importance of some sort.

This verse is for ALL of us ladies/ bible believers, even if you are single, because as a follower of Christ, you ARE His Bride, for you are married to Christ! (Isaiah 54:5). The Bride of Christ is thee Proverbs 31 woman and Jesus is shown through scripture to be OUR Bridegroom!!.(*Gasps & smiles with excitement!!*) He LOVES us so much, for we BELONG to Him! He has claimed us as His.....purchased us with His blood and taken us out of this world and placed us into His Kingdom. His love has captured me and I am so in awe of this love story I am experiencing daily and generally how much He loves little me/us!  

Virtue & discretion are so prized in the eyes of God and we can see why in this verse. He wants His bride to shine!! He doesn't want us to be distasteful, disgraced or to bring shame to Him or his sons (in marriage). We are married to Jesus & earthly husbands, for those of you ladies that are married. What we display in our lives really speaks volumes about our Head/Leadership. Sort of like how children 'reflect' their parents. Well we reflect our Husband, even if we are not directly in line with Him, we are still His, and He doesn't want us to misrepresent Him. It makes Him look bad, even though He is perfect. Does that make sense? ... How we present ourselves speaks also of the one who cares for us & lets us leave our homes dressed in the way we are.

As we are described as the actual crown...crowns have jewels which is what makes crowns so beautiful to look at. Now the beauty which WE as that crown exude/project/ display is NOT physical. It is through our character that we shine. So what should our character look like?...simply put..His/Jesus. Meekness, love, gentleness, self control ( read Gal 5:22-23 for a start)...now I can only speak for myself and say that I was NOT projecting these things before encountering Jesus. Jesus transforms us, through the word & His Spirit, while we are on this earth serving Him and His people. He refines us and brings out these jewels that He can see in us already. Discretion is one of them.
Discretion defined - the quality of behaving or speaking in such a way as to avoid causing offence or revealing confidential information. #Exclusive!

In my own words, you and me need to hold it down, not be exposing ourselves everywhere and to everyone, we need to be humble & recognize that we are exclusively for Jesus. This body is HIS temple, so He deserves to be kept in a temple that reverences Him, cares about Him and shows HOW valuable He is! 

It is not everything that needs to be shared. Somethings should be kept intimate between Husbands & Wives, and this revelation is what has transformed me to have this standard established in my heart to not reveal parts of my body that are intimate & precious. e.g. Breasts - 'your children's food supply' (as one of my sisters puts it..haha)..They are designed and given to us, for an appointed time for feeding children. It is for the intimate times a Mother shares with her child, which allows them to bond and so many other things. I am an Aunty and I have learnt a lot about breast feeding from my sisters etc. It is really deep! This is a tool that used at its rightful time can bless God's child who deserves to have those intimate tools kept exclusive. {I think they deserve that too, little people are precious! hehe}

May Father help us in this generation to learn how to be transparent & open without putting up masks, yet may we not be careless, reckless, undiscerning, thoughtless and venting all over the place...with that mentality of 'I'll do whatever I want to do, when I want to do it, the way I want to do it....I will wear whatever I want, when I want and it's not my problem if others find me distracting'... That is not a Godly mindset..but Praise God mindsets can be changed, as we surrender our will over to Him. God cares for us and wants us to do our best to live in peace with one another, promoting holiness and purity in our lifestyles. 

Discretion is such a wonderful & precious jewel in our lives as women; it is one to pray about for sure. 

I have blogged this skirt before but this time I complemented the purple with blue.

Fashion & getting dressed up is fun, but to be very honest hair plays a VERY big part in the overall finish to an outfit. One can have a really nice outfit but if the hair is not presentable it can ruin the overall look, so I do try to invest in my hair because it needs my attention and care. God is faithful with the little things also and I aim to be faithful with my natural curls, by looking after them.

For my hair below, I had my hair blow dried but then I washed it shortly afterwards and it reverted back to my normal curls. I will try and upload a video or some photos of my hair in its shrinkage stage.  

Me and my suitcase, we travel together a lot for styling sessions and all. 

{Outfit Details}
Skirt - Charity Shop (£3)
Shirt - Debenhams consession 
Heels - Primark 
Jacket - New Look


I am really enjoying my natural hair journey and have now been fully natural for 1 year and 2 months. I did transition for 12 months before doing my big chop, therefore my total hair journey is now 2 years and 2 months. Amazing stuff! I am so pleased for the growth!

I find styling hair and other things very enjoyable so I have been able to get some styles in, but I am still learning so much about actually managing my hair. So far my products intake has been so minimal. Water + Coconut oil mainly. It has done me good, but I now want to take it up a notch and try to do more and invest in my hair more. 

I have managed to get my hair in a low bun without using any heat, but by doing an old African method using string overnight. I find it hard to get it very tight so I ask my Mummy to do it for me so that I can have the desired stretch. The low bun below was done after unraveling the string. I'm pretty impressed to be honest with you.

Do you have natural hair? Do you use these products?  How have you found them? 
I shall use them for a while and see how my hair responds, but please do leave me any tips, advice or feedback. I am trying to learn how to get more curl definition at present so any helpful tips would be greatly appreciated. 

{Vintage Up do Hair Tutorial For you Natural ladies}

With love, 
N A S H A M B E R 

3 September 2014

Royal Amber | Yellow Lace Dress Top

Here's an outfit put together around this beautiful yellow lace dress top. 
There are so many colours that can work with such a bold item, but on this occasion I opted for a simple Black and yellow, as they work so well together. I learnt this from my Father's creation of the bubble bee.  

H&M have this listed as a 'short dress' & I personally style short dresses as dress tops because without something on the bottom, things are exposed that are meant to be exclusively His. 

I like to ask God what He would define something as, rather than simply going with what the majority would say about something. So in this case, me and Father have defined this beautiful lace item as a dress top, meaning it requires another item on the bottom when styling. The standards that God has are perfect, and are there to help us/me flourish and grow into all He has always seen. I am still a work in progress, but in Christ we are to grow from glory to glory, and not to remain stagnant without growing in holiness, love, peace, understanding, wisdom etc...so asking questions helps me to not conform to the pattern/standard/ideas of this world [Romans 12:2]...even in ignorance but it gives me the chance to apply wisdom in how I dress also.

I learnt this principal of asking God to define things in my life from growing in understanding that He is Lord - He has the final say. I then have learnt about the power of words - what I say, what I use in my day to day language & what I am speaking into existence, because there is power of life and death in my tongue. This is something the Holy Spirit has to remind me about because I do forget at times, but because of this knowledge & His grace, I am able to repent when He shows me.

He revealed to me a while ago that I have to define things as HE would define them in order to respond to them how HE would respond. For example, if God calls something sin, yet we (as humans) call it something else, I could be deceived into thinking God is pleased with what we are doing or believing. Therefore we would think we don't even need to repent or change.

e.g. God defines lying as a sin, however some people categorise lies, as white lies, big lies, purple lies etc...which is not how God puts it. So one could think something is just a little lie rather than seeing it as a sin that they need to repent from..

 I pretty much took this and started applying it in different situations in my life. It has helped me to see tests as a joyful thing - looking through His eyes (some tests are easier to see than others, and He is still working that perfect word in me)...back to my point...When we look at things in life through the eyes of God, it allows us to respond rightfully to it. 

What is lying to God? 
Does God see this as 'just a movie?' 
Does God see that activity as 'just a bit of fun?'
What does 'fun' look like to God?
What does God define as short & why? 
What does God define as course jesting? (Ephesians 4:29)

~ Look Beyond The Surface ~

He brings wonderful answers to me, through many ways, mainly His word and His spirit in me bearing witness to what is truth. I am continually learning, as being set apart for Jesus is a beautiful thing, that costs us a lot. There is a price to pay for it and that price is a surrendered life to Christ, however that will look. I am still learning to give Him ALL of me, daily, and to continue to allow Him to transform me into His perfect image.

~ Royal Amber ~ 

Outfit Details:
Headpiece - A Statement necklace 
Dress Top- H&M
Pencil Skirt - Jane Norman
Heels - Next 

Hair- I had my hair blow dried since the week before and I put it into a buff, and created a quiff with some of the front, so that it complemented the head jewellery. 

With love,
Nash Amber x